Monday 20 January 2014

A very grand adventure

Or - the background

I moved into my first house just under two years ago. It had a green grassy space out the front and a odd-shaped long triangular concreted bit at the back. I had previously rented a house with a garden, but seeing as I tended to kill plants and had actually resorted to paying a friend to tend it, I was somewhat relieved to only have one green bit to contend with. My knowledge of plants was such that I chose to identify every plant as "possibly a nettle", on the basis that it had as good a chance of being correct as any other guess I might make.

The concreted section was quite nice, I thought. A good little space that we could have deckchairs out in and maybe a barbecue. I wasn't very good at plants at all, so it was for the best.

Ay me. Life was so simple back then.

Corruption came in the form of two little raised beds of earth behind one of the garden sheds. One of them was clearly for strawberries and Wife was quite interested in keeping them going. However the other puzzled me - it was filled with deep, loose compost that looked as though it had been recently turned. Someone suggested, "Maybe they grew potatoes there?" and an unexpected little thought crept into my head.

"I bet I could do that."

Unfortunately, the gardening shop that I went to for seed potatoes also had onion sets for sale for only a couple of pounds, so I bought some of them too. I went back home, read the instructions and realised that I needed a bit more space than I actually had. I wasn't going to throw away any that didn't fit; hell no! What I clearly needed, was a larger raised bed.

I extended the first, then built a second when it was clear that wouldn't do the job. I then looked at my work and, instead of being sane and thinking that I was done, wondered if it was possible to grow broccoli and cauliflower at home. A quick google confirmed it was perfectly possible, if a little bit late in the year to be starting, and I was once again back to the garden centre, buying massive amounts of compost and top-soil to build another raised bed out of bits of wood I had lying around in the shed.

The first year, I failed at broccoli and cauliflower (despite a promising start) and achieved only 5p-sized onions. Even the potatoes, which were a pretty good success, only gave me enough for two, maybe three meals worth. Worst of all, I got a new thought in my head.

"I bet I could do better next year with a bit of planning."

The potatoes had given me hope, you see. I'd put something in the ground and against all expectations, not only had a green thing come out at the top, but it'd successfully made food underneath. By the loosest of definitions, I had successfully gardened, and I was intrigued to see how far I could push my luck.

The second year, I discovered that, yes I could do a lot better with a bit of planning. I could grow a great number of crops to feed caterpillars. I've officially done my bit for the butterfly population and ensured that my darling daughter will never, ever be read "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." Or if I do read it to her, it will have my own personal twist about the thieving little villain and the comeuppance that he would inevitably get.

However, while the caterpillars did eat as much as we did, we ate a lot. I got broccoli, courgettes and carrots, graduated to 10p-sized onions, discovered growing potatoes in sacks, toyed with runner beans, learned a lot about what does and doesn't like to grow in a container (swedes, not so much) and managed to go from June to November without having to buy a single vegetable from the shops. The concreted area also gained four new raised beds, some grape vines, a fig tree and an astonishing amount of new pots. I don't like to think too long about how much I've spent on compost and top soil.

At the end of last year, I decided I was going to rationalise my production and aim for a smaller growing space. I couldn't defend the larger area against the depredations of the local butterflies and even my slightly guilty resorting to pesticides hadn't made much of a dent. Besides, just having had our first child, it would be more sensible to reduce things down to a more sensible and more manageable level.

Having made this eminently sensible decision, I have somehow ended up with this monstrosity as my plan for the forthcoming year:

Oh dear

It started off so innocently. I bought a pop-up garden net cage to protect my main bed (click on the link if you're planning on growing brassica, it's really good and it beats finding a cooked caterpillar on your broccoli halfway through a meal) and was really impressed by it. So I got one for the other two big beds. Those beds weren't 1.25m x 1.25m though, so I extended them out a bit so they fit the nets. And while I was doing that, I might as well move the plastic greenhouse to a more sensible place... that's actually given me more room round that other bed; I bet I could extend that out to 1.25m2 by using these spare bricks and get another net for that... but the bricks aren't staying put unless I wedge them in with something like these extra pots... which clears up room over there and I was talking about getting some raspberries, wasn't I... but they only come in a set of 12 and that space isn't big enough, so I bet I could squeeze in another bed there and use that other space for the blackberries that I've been thinking of...

Oh dear.

Next, the new year's resolution.

No comments:

Post a Comment